Doesn't this title sound like an essay that we would have written in Grade 5?
Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I am now a mother, so I am legitimately remembered on this day. But I have to be honest. It feels weird.
I think that this may be the first Mother's Day out of the 5 that I have been at my home with Dave and the girls to celebrate it. I've either been away at a conference (this happened twice), or we've been at my folk's house, as this is the weekend that the Mother-Daughter Salad Supper happens. There is a flurry of excitement in the house, especially from Jorja. She's been telling me that there are surprises hidden for me in her and Ginny's closet, so I can't go in there and look, but I'll be getting them tomorrow. So, no peeking, Mommy! I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers today, and yesterday, we went out for an early Mother's Day supper. I truly am spoiled!
Why does it feel weird? I don't know. I am having feelings of inadequacy, as though I don't deserve to be celebrated, because I'm really not a great mom. Sure, I get by - the kids are clothed, hair is brushed, food is on the table, etc, etc, but a lot of this is because they also have a really great dad! I think that Dave and I balance each other out, but it's more of a 65/35 split....where I'm slightly below average, he's in the exceptional/gifted status.
Don't get me wrong - I love my girls, and would do anything for them. I just think that I don't score high in the super mom quotient. I guess that's okay but the important thing is that I am continually trying to do my best, and am always striving to be a better Momma - more patience, less annoyance, more attention, less frustration, more understanding, more laughter, and more love.
That being said, I hope that my girls grow up to be exceptional young ladies, knowing that their Momma loved them to the best of her ability. I hope that they grow up to have the wonderful kind of relationship with me that I have with my Mom. I hope that, someday, they will get to experience the joy that comes with being a mother -having sticky little hands clasped inside of theirs, slobbery kisses, big, sweet hugs from tiny little arms. I hope that they will get to experience the wonder of having a little person growing inside their body. I hope that they will hear the beauty of four magical words that can cross a child's lips - "I love you, Mom."
And to my Mom - what a lady you are! I am so blessed and privileged to have such a role model as you, and I am proud that you're my Mom. I'm glad that you're one of my best friends. You're a great source of wisdom, advice, laughter, fun, and not to mention, great recipes and cooking tips. I'm thankful for all of the love and support that you've given me, and I don't know where I'd be without our almost daily phone chats.
I love you, Momma - have a wonderful Mother's Day. I hope that I can be half of the mother to my girls that you were and are to me.
~Julie
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