I'm not quite sure how to start this, so if it seems like I'm rambling or rabbit trailing, I apologize. I've had this post ruminating in me for a while, just not quite sure how or if I should share it. But here goes. I'll warn you now, you're not going to laugh like most of the stories on here. I'm going to attempt to share how a four year old sees life, death and faith.
CeCe has said she misses Great Granny ever since she passed away. If you remember this post, you will remember that CeCe was quite curious about death and what happens after. She remembers that your hands get cold and your body stops working and that you get to go live with Jesus in heaven.
To listen to her pray is quite something. She thanks God for always looking after us and for our blessings. She knows God is always with us to help us. She is looking forward to the day that she will see Great Grandma again. (I tell her that I hope that isn't for a while yet.) I guess that's why Jesus told us we need to have the faith of a child. They just get it.
A couple of weeks ago, we were at Julie's parents' place for the weekend. The weather was nice, so I took the girls for a quad ride to the cemetery to see Great Granny's grave. They were all quite fascinated. The older two walked around reading all the headstones that they could to see when people died. Some only a few days old when they died, a couple only one day, some long lives. Jorja is getting into history, so she paid attention to the dates and thought some could be from the Spanish flu and some during the depression. CeCe found a couple that she liked, and just sat there for a while, thinking about things.
And some are nameless. The girls all thought that was pretty sad.
CeCe has a book she likes to read too. It took me by surprise the first time I read it. It's a Chester Raccoon book (The Kissing Hand) - we had ordered a group of them from one of the girls' scholastic book fairs once. There's The Kissing Hand about going to school for the first time, there's one about bullies, one about moving and it turns out there's one about death. It's called the Memory Acorn. Chester Raccoon comes home from school and says that Skiddel Squirrel had an accident and died and won't be coming back to school anymore. The book then talks about how to make and cherish memories about loved ones that have passed. I got a little weepy the first time I read it and wasn't expecting it. At the end of the book, CeCe looked up to me and said, "I know why Skiddel Squirrel died. He was out of birthdays. Just like Great Granny. She was all out of birthdays too."
I guess all this just hits a little close to home these days. With both of the girls' grandpas living with cancer, it's hard. But I guess it's just like CeCe says, someday we will all be out of birthdays and then we can see God and Jesus in heaven. It is definitely something to look forward to. It's just hard on the rest of us still having birthdays. Later.